Monday, January 29, 2007

My Part of 2007.

This is part of my 2007 developments on the net.


Wednesday, January 24, 2007

"Free Love"

"Love wins; love always wins," it has been said. But throughout most of our agrarian past, love lost, at least among the upper classes. Today I am optimistic about romantic love, because we are returning to patterns of romance that humankind enjoyed across most of our deep history: choosing lovers and spouses for ourselves.

Parents may have started to arrange their children's marriages when the brain began to develop some two million years ago. But in those few hunting and gathering societies that still survive, parents only initiate the first wedding of a son or daughter. Moreover, this contract is flexible. If the callow newlyweds are not happy with their match, they pick up their few belongings and walk home. The contract has been honored and parents are pleased to see their youth again. The young go on to choose their next partner for themselves.

But as our forebears began to settle down some 10,000 years ago, and as they acquired immoveable property like fields of grain and sturdy homes, they began to need to cement their social ties. What better way than to wed your daughter with my son? Strictly arranged marriages became a way to built one's fortune and secure one's genetic future. These marriages had to endure, too. In some farming communities, you could fall in love with whom you chose; but you married the "right" individual, with the "right" kin connections and "right" social, economic and political ties.

The widespread tradition of strictly arranged marriages began to dissipate with the beginning of the Industrial Revolution. As men and women left the farm for factory work, they no longer needed to maintain many of these connections. They could chose partners for themselves.

Today this movement is gaining speed, due to two dramatic world trends: the global rise of women in the paid labor force; and the aging world population. For millions of years women commuted to work to gather their fruits and vegetables and came home with much of the evening meal. Women were economically, sexually and socially powerful. With the invention of the plow, however, women lost much of their economic independence. But as women go back to work and come home with money, they are reacquiring their economic autonomy—and their ancient ability to choose their lovers and spouses for themselves. With the aging world population, high divorce and remarriage rates, and many modern inventions, from Viagra to hip replacements, women (and men) now have the time, opportunity and health to make their own match, what the Chinese call "free love."

And along with the rise of romantic love within marriage has come what sociologists hail as the 21st century marital form, known as peer marriages, symmetrical marriages or companionate marriages: weddings between equals. "Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly." Today more and more men and women have the opportunity to enjoy this adventure—life with someone they passionately love. In this way humanity is regaining a tradition that is highly compatible with our ancient human spirit.

Friday, January 12, 2007

How Can you Be in Love?

Someone ask me a question: "How can i t
ell am in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they ar in lust.

Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?

There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If you agree with 7 of the following 9 statements you are probably in love.

  1. You know, because you have been told by your significant other, that your deep feelings are returned in kind.
  2. The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.
  3. If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you or hurt your relationship.
  4. Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.
  5. When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings (even if they sometimes cause conflict).
  6. Your partner never asks you to choose between him/her and your loyalties to your family and friends - if you do choose him/her over them you always have a good reason and it is always YOUR decision, and your decision alone.
  7. Neither you or your partner feel the need to test the other's loyalties or feelings.
  8. You are more yourself when with your partner than you are with anybody else.
  9. If sex is part of your relationship it is by mutual desire and agreement without the slightest hint of commitment testing or persuasion.
Things u should know about love:

  1. Love does not hurt. Physical and/or emotional abuse are not a part of love.
  2. Love is not manipulative, it should not be used to get others to do what you want. You should never give in to demands based on the, "You would do it if you loved me!" tactic.
  3. Love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms (romantic, friendly, familial) but it is always about caring.
  4. Although it is true that a big part of love is putting another person's happiness ahead of your own this never includes compromising your values or being untrue to yourself.
  5. If somebody asks you to do something that you don't want to do in order to "prove" your love they do not love you the way you might think they do. When you love another person you don't ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of that love.
  6. It is very easy to confuse lust for love. The true measure of romantic love is commitment and trust not physical attraction.
  7. It is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person at a given time. Just think, if it is possible for you to love both of your parents at the same time why would it be impossible to feel romantic love for two people at once? Don't beat yourself up emotionally if you find yourself in this unhappy situation. But be sure to remain single and be open and honest with all parties about your feelings and confusion.
  8. Sex is NOT love. Love is NOT sex. Sex can be a part of romantic love but it is never mandatory.
  9. Romantic love can (and often does) fade. When it goes there is not always a reason. When somebody falls out of love with you it does not reflect upon your value as a person or your desirability.
  10. Love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated.
To be continued with another quiz......

Saturday, January 06, 2007

And The Love That is....

Peeping through the window in our offices, overlooking the intersection of the two streets. Traffic jams everywhere. Thats how Nairobi streets look like. But i waz not interested in the traffic snurl up, but the movement of Nairobians. I noticed that there are more ladies in the streets than men. Beautifully dressed. Then i flashed back to what appeared in 'Daily Nation' and the
'Cracy Crap' coments on the Kenya's single women. Not that they fail to get Mr. Right but they are very selective. I know i will be under fire for this post from all the single ladies.

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart. If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain.

How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.
Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit.
Give it to the world around you in anyway you can.

This is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you.

But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery.

Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.
Don't deny love just only you don't want to be hurt...

IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN,
IT WILL COME AGAIN!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

2007 Wel Come Note

I ve juz reported back in da office 2day, n i must say hi to ma fellow bloggers outta there who made 2006 so fantastic. As i sit back in ma desk, trying to configure where to start..finally, i decided to start ma day with a blog post. Its gonna take me more than 1 week 2 bring back ma mind to work after long holidays, i say this coz it was fun uniting with all ma extended familyand friends, chat abt few things...which made me forget abt job depression a little bit.

The year 2006 waz filled with passion, fun n of course lots of work which could give u an headache at the end of the day...but all waz good good, coz if its aint for the job, u cant put the meal on da table. I learnt one thing last year, u must appreciate ur job coz there are millions out there who are crying for a job. No matter how hard it is, juz appreciate it.

This is the year 2007 that we hope its gonna be good, filled with joy, peace, unity, love and plenty of food for the hungry.

We should make our beloved country corruption free. Wooo! this reminds me of our highways, the traffic police officers are very corrupt. I remember vividly how some traffic policemen/women on Sotik-Kericho highway take bribes, 14 seater matatus knows no Michuki rules, they carry more the 18 passengers at the full watch of this cops. God ve mercy on them! Not only on this route its all over the country. Its only in Nairobi where Michuki rules are applicable!

We hope this year there will no famine in the country as it used 2 b, no floods. This year should be a new dawn in the Middle East crisis. May peace prevails. May there be peace, love n unity in da whole world.

I am wishing all of your a prosperous 2007. Thats ma prayer.

Happy people.

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