Hint Of Relationship.

What He Says and What He Means:

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...."I can't hear the television because of the noise from the vacuum cleaner."

“You look great in that dress.”
Really means....“Wow! It’s way too short!”

"I missed you."
Really means...."My shirts need ironing, I haven’t eaten since you left and we are out of toilet paper."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means...."We have overshot by 200 miles."

“I love you.”
Really means....“Will you have sex with me?”

“I bought you flowers.”
Really means....“The florist was having a closing down sale.

"I am listening."
Really means....“I was listening to the radio but with a bit of luck you might actually think I was listening to you.”

“I can fix it myself”
Really means....“Look up the number of an emergency plumber.”

The difference between men and women : Talking

When a man returns home tired and weary after a hard day’s toil he needs about twenty minutes peace and quiet just to unwind from the stresses and strains he has suffered. Unfortunately when he gets home his wife needs to tell him, all the problems and issues which have developed during the day. Luckily men have developed the ability to listen, appear interested and sleep all at the same time.

If you want to make a woman happy talk more, if you want to make her really happy talk about your relationship, if you want to make her ecstatic talk about the diamond ring you are going to buy her.

Women have the ability to talk and listen at the same time - so she’s not being rude when she interrupts while you are speaking....oops! Of course, if you interrupt her while she’s talking you’re in real trouble for she knows that men can’t talk and listen at the same time (n thats a normal thing).

Never snore while a woman is talking (hell! what she talks pauselessly!). It may give her the impression that you’re not listening.

While women have developed the ability to listen to six conversations simultaneously men have developed the ability to listen to one conversation in a rowdy pub while a 100 decibel wall of sound bombards them from all around.

Male speech is minimalist. It has no place for the twists and turns, the flowery imagery and innuendo that embellishes the speech of females. Shortly after meeting a woman in a club a man is likely to say, ‘Let’s go to my place and have sex’ A woman compensates for the man’s lack of language skills by filling in the blanks. She will know that what he is trying to say in his pathetic little way is, ‘I am a desperately lonely slob with absolutely no social graces but having consumed eight pints of Tusker. I have plucked up the courage to come over and talk to you and make a complete fool of myself.’